Adventures In Public Transit

Since my return from backpacking, I have been taking the transit almost everyday. And usually quite a few times in one day. Over the years of taking the “public limo”, I have figured out some of the unwritten rules of riding the greener way. Here’s my compilation:

1) a. By no means do you ever sit beside someone else if you don’t have to. People enjoy their space and are rather annoyed when you plop your fat ass beside them.

b.  If there is a row of three seats, do not sit in the middle one. You’re just being a jackass to the people that follow rule 1)a.

2) When on a bus, such as the GO bus, follow the pattern. If you’re looking at an empty row of seats and the people behind you and in front of you are sitting in the aisle seat, sit in the window seat of your row. Then you are free to adjust your seat without pissing off the people who got on the bus before you and acknowledge this etiquette.

3) a. Obnoxiously loud conversations with other passengers or on a cell phone are just that, obnoxious. No one wants to hear what you have to say, if we did, you’d be a public speaker or maybe a politician and they don’t normally take transit. And if I can hear you over my headphones with my volume at a reasonable level, yes, you are definitely talking too loud.

b. If I can hear your music and I’m not sitting next to you, or even if I am, it’s too bloody loud. Save your hearing and don’t force me to listen to your shitty music. I don’t make you listen to mine.

4) a. If someone has large and/or many items in the seat beside them and there are other seats available, go sit in those seats. That person most likely does not own a vehicle and this is how they have to live. Have you ever sat down for a hour or more with heavy things on your lap? If not, try it.

b. If you are just putting something small in the seat beside you because you don’t want someone to sit there, try the sunglasses on/headphones in/pretend you are sleeping method. It works much better. Just don’t use it too often.

5) If you are sitting in an aisle seat and the bus is getting filled up, move over to the window. Don’t make someone climb over top of you to sit down. I realize you are probbaly comfortable and your seat is all nice and warm, but you’re being an asshole.  To ensure the ability to have your seat reclined if you so choose, when you get on the bus, make sure you pick seats with no one behind you, recline both seats and voila! Problem solved!

6) Eating on transit. Now this is a tricky one because there are acceptable and unacceptable food items to bring and eat on transit. The acceptable ones don’t have a strong smell and aren’t very messy. Be courteous to your fellow riders and the ones that will sit in the seat after you. Also, pick up after yourself. I’m sure your mother taught you better than that.

7) Smelly/sweaty/fat people/sick people. I know you exist and I’m probably a horrible person for bringing this up but let’s face it- no one wants to sit beside you or have you sit beside them. Why? Because either you smell, you breathe loudly, cough, sneeze, sweat, or you’re just so grossly obese that you take up way too much room and spill over into the next seat. Don’t be offended that people don’t want you beside them, they just enjoy their personal space or their health and don’t want you intruding.

Happy transiting!

Adventures In Buying Cigarettes

This morning I needed to pick up smokes before going to work. Yes, I’m a dirty, filthy smoker. Sue me. As I was walking down the street towards my office I stopped at one of the many convenience stores. Well I tried to stop. At 8:30am on a Saturday, it was closed. Hopeful about the next three stores I would pass, I made my way towards my office. Closed. Closed. Closed. That’s when I began to wonder why they call them convenience stores. It’s not convenient for me if you are closed at 8:30am on a Saturday morning. So I spent twenty minutes walking around downtown trying to find a place to buy some cigarettes because at that point, I really needed one.

Thoughts I Stole From Others

“The most important thing in life is to stop saying “I wish” and start saying “I will.” Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities.”

“Heaven is totally overrated. It seems boring. Clouds, listening to people play the harp. It should be somewhere you can’t wait to go, like a luxury hotel. Maybe blue skies and soft music were enough to keep people in line in the 17th century, but Heaven has to step it up a bit. They’re basically getting by because they only have to be better than Hell.”

“You simply can’t make someone love you if they don’t. You must choose someone who already loves you. If you choose someone who does not love you, this is the sort of love you must want.”

“Scientists tell us we only use 5% of our brains. But if they only used 5% of their brains to reach that conclusion, then why should we believe them?”

“It takes two seconds to tell the truth and it costs nothing. A lie takes time and it costs everything.”

“Our greatest prejudice is against death. It spans age, gender and race. We spend immeasurable amounts of energy fighting an event that will eventually triumph. Though it is noble not to give in easily, the most alive people I’ve ever met are those who embrace their death. They love, laugh and live more fully.”

“A mature person is one who can say: My parents may have made some mistakes raising me, but they did the best they could: now it’s up to me.”

“Run when you can, walk when you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up.”

“The law, for all its failings, has a noble goal – to make the little bit of life that people can actually control more just. We can’t end disease or natural disasters, but we can devise rules for our dealings with one another that fairly weigh the rights and needs of everyone, and which, therefore, reflect our best vision of ourselves.”

“Beware of turning into the enemy you most fear. All it takes is to lash out violently at someone who has done you some grievous harm, proclaiming that only your pain matters in this world. More than against that person’s body, you will then, at that moment, be committing a crime against your own imagination.”

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.

You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. ”

-Neil Gaiman

All Work And No Play…

Makes my bank account grow larger!

I’ve spent Monday to Wednesday of this working working at my dad’s office helping out with some telesales and cold calling. It’s actually been really great. It’s something I enjoy and I’m not chained to a desk. I can actually get up, take a break. I can chat to people, have a smoke, grab lunch, all on my own schedule.

The best thing? They are considering hiring me full time for telesales, marketing and a multitude of other things. Jack of all trades kind of deal.

Here’s hoping!

Adventures of Incredible Boredom

As I sit here in my office at 10:30 on a Sunday morning, I contemplate the boring hours that will be forced upon me today. I realize that I should probably not be so negative towards my job as it is money and everyone likes easy money.

Here’s my thing though, I actually *like* working. I hate having nothing to do. I absolutely resent when all my abilities that get me hired go to waste because I end up working in offices that are not busy, despite what management and other staff think. It’s not that I’m cocky, but one becomes accustomed to working in an office of 200+ agents where you handle anywhere between four hundred and eight hundred calls a day. Yourself. Let’s not mention that there are two or three other people doing that job too. And doing paperwork. And any other little thing that needs to be handled.

I enjoy a challenge and I enjoy a fast-paced working environment. My last office of two hundred agents bored me to tears. I was left to answer the phones with two other girls, of whom neither did any work anyway. And I was still bored. I begged the back office that did all the paperwork to give me things to do, they would but I would complete it too quickly, so excited to actually have something to do, that I would find myself asking them for more work.

That’s part of my problem, I so enjoy having things to do that I whip through it. Part of it is because I am good at what I do. I have been doing real estate administration and reception since I was seventeen, almost five years of experience under my belt. That’s a rarity. The industry is hard pressed to find people with experience that are actually good at the job. Not to insult or malign my fellow “punching bags” but seriously, there are a lot very stupid people in this industry-many are the people answering the phones and many of them are so useless it boggles my mind as to how they even have a job.

The other moronic side would be the agents. How I, having no license to work as an agent, have more knowledge of the industry when it comes down to offers, appointments, marketing, you know-all the things that actually count towards selling a home-is ridiculously sad. I’ll give them that it can be hard to market yourself to sellers and get that listing and it can be difficult to even have that listing sell, but on the whole, taking people to see properties and having your admin staff do all the legwork for you-it really isn’t that challenging.

The challenging part of their job is dealing with people. They deal with fellow morons, high maintenance clients who believe that their 600 sq ft condo listed at $450K entitles them to red carpet treatment. Hell, even those with the $1.8 mil homes act like that. Even the people with place for $199K act like that. Because agents pamper them. They complain about their clients who bitch and moan that their house won’t sell. Some agents won’t suggest that maybe they improve their home-de-clutter, do some cheap and effective upgrades or *gasp* drop the price. But sellers are so firm on the lowest price they will sell their house for because they have an emotional investment in their property. What they don’t realize is that this emotional attachment does nothing to sell their home and makes it difficult for everyone who has to work with them on doing so.

I realize I have taken a bit of a detour in this post but having done this job for as long as I have and having talked to the most moronic individuals I have ever had the displeasure of speaking with:

Caller: “I saw a house for sale. Can you tell me the price?”                                                                       

Me: “Do you have the address or agents name?”

Caller: “No. But it has a red door and a black roof. And there is a large tree in the front”

Me: *thinking-seriously? Are you seriously doing this right now? Why on earth would I, the person answering the phone, know what every single one of our properties looks like? Are you really this stupid?* “Sir, unless you have an agents name or the address, I can’t help you”

Caller: “It’s got a red door. The brick is kind of that light brown colour…”

Me (interrupting): “I don’t know what any of our properties look like sir. I need an agents name or the address to be able to help you”

Caller: “So you don’t know which house I’m talking about?”

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry I don’t. But if you can get me the agents name or the add….”

*click*

It was even better when I worked for a predominately Jewish company and I’d have people call in looking for an agent and I’d ask them to describe the person and they’d say ‘Well, they’re Jewish” At which point I had to inform them “About 90% of the realtors in our office are Jewish. You’re going to have to be a little more specific”.

This is the general public. The people I deal with everyday. It is an ego boost though, to know that if Darwin’s wrath were to every actually strike down and take out the really stupid people, that my time in real estate should keep me safe. In my years working, I think I’ve talked to a good 20% of the idiots in York Region and a good 25% of the idiots in Toronto. And that’s just while I’m at work. Imagine if I took into account all the people I meet everyday on the subway, walking down the street or hear about on the news.

So as I sit here, contemplating the boring hours still ahead of me, I wonder which lovely imbeciles will cause me to bash my head off my desk today.

*Edit-Not five minutes after I posted this, I received an email from one of my agents requesting a form (that he can access from the web) be sent to him in pdf format. The form on the web is in pdf format already so I sent him the link. He then emailed me back requesting it in pdf format. I responded telling him web forms are in pdf format. And then I printed off the form, emailed it to myself and then sent it to him. I hate people*

Already Neurotic

So I’m sitting here, watching Dexter after watching the two hour premier of Heroes (I’ve never watched the show before in my life).

I realize that this blog is more about self-indulgence. Reassurance. Random thoughts that pop into my head throughout the course of a day. I won’t apologize for that, mainly because that was the purpose. To have somewhere to just record those random, mundane, everyday thoughts that really don’t amount to anything but do require some reflection, some acknowledgment, if only for my own sanity.

I need to find an apartment so that I can take up yoga again, so that I can begin learning Spanish and Vietnamese. So that I can start actually doing something.

So if anyone knows of a furnished room in Toronto, south of the 401, east of Ossington, west of Broadview that’s $600 or less a month and available until the end of February, let me know.

I Hate Myself For Loving You

I think of you ev’ry night and day.
You took my heart, then you took my pride away.
I hate myself for loving you .
Can’t break free from the the things that you do.
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that’s why
I hate myself for loving you .

But I can deal. I am a better person than I was at the beginning of the year. I can do this. I will be fine. I will be okay. I am stronger than I was.